


Blue Christmas

by PigSlay



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Other, christmas cuddles, death mentions, in memory of Johannah, there are Religious references (Heaven and prayers)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9059731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PigSlay/pseuds/PigSlay
Summary: Louis is having the worst Christmas of his life so far, and he feels left out of all the joy this year. Then Niall comes with tea and an open heart, exactly what Louis needs.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know One Direction. Merry Christmas to everyone (including the real Niall and Louis). I pray that Louis and his family are well this Christmas and had a good one all things considered. <3 This fic may not be perfect, but I wanted to do something to honor Johannah tonight, and this was the best thing I could think of to do.
> 
> We love you Johannah, and hope you are having a good Christmas in Heaven.

This has hands down been the worst Christmas of Louis’ life so far. It’s not enough that he had to have his birthday without his mom yesterday, but now he has to have Christmas without her too, which was always her favorite holiday.

This morning he and his family did all the usual traditions: they opened presents at the crack of dawn, had Christmas breakfast together with some of their extended family, and that was all great… but it felt like something was missing. Because something is missing – or rather someone.

It’s seven PM now – Christmas dinner has already passed - and Louis is in his room. He’s got the radio on, listening to Christmas music play, trying to feel some sort of joy, somehow, but it’s not coming. The singers are talking about how “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and all he can think about is how all he wants for Christmas is his mom back with him.

He looks down at his baby in his arms. “Freddie,” he says sadly. “I wish you could have had your Nan at your first Christmas. She would have made sure to give you the best present of all time.” He tries to hold back his tears because he doesn’t want Freddie to start crying too.

“Da da?” Freddie asks, sounding concerned that his father is so upset about something, even though he doesn’t understand what.

Louis gives him a big hug. “I’m glad I have you, Freddie. And I’m glad mum got to meet you, even if she didn’t get to see your first Christmas…”

Suddenly he’s paying attention to the radio again and he hears them playing the saddest song of all time, because of course they are.

 _Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please_  
_It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size_  
_Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time_  
_You see she's been sick for quite a while_  
_And I know these shoes would make her smile_  
_And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight_

He sets down Freddie carefully and then runs over to the radio, practically slamming it to turn it off. Even the radio doesn’t want him to be happy today apparently.

“Why do they have to play that dumb song on this dumb night?!” he all but yells. Freddie starts crying. He’s never liked it when Louis yells. “No, no, no. Shhh. It’s okay lad.” He gives his baby a big hug, slowly but surely calming him down.

Someone knocks on the door. “Go away,” Louis says, not wanting to see anyone right now except Freddie.

The person doesn’t go away though, and Louis is about to get real ticked off when the door opens, but then he sees it’s Niall. “But I brought you a present though.”

“Niall?” Louis asks. “What are you doing here?”

Niall smiles sadly. “I figured you could use some love this Christmas.”

“I’m okay,” Louis says, his sniffles betraying the lie. “Okay fine, I’m not okay at all. Everything today has reminded me of mum. It’s not fair that she’s not here on Christmas!” He sits up carefully, making sure to not catch Freddie off guard too much with his sudden movements.

“I know,” Niall agrees. “Christmas was always her favorite time of year.” Just then, Freddie starts crawling over to Niall’s lap. “Hey buddy.” He smiles at him. “Did you have a good first Christmas?” Freddie just smiles and rubs his head on Niall’s stomach like a cat purring. Niall giggles.

“Of course he did,” Louis replies. “Santa got him some amazing presents.”

“I bet he did,” Niall giggles. There’s silence for a moment, and then Niall turns his attention back to Louis. “Louis, I’m sorry your mum isn’t here to see this in the flesh.” Louis feels the tears coming back on and tries his best to hold them back. “But she is still here, in everything you’ve done today. She’s up there in Heaven, watching down on all of you.”

“I know…” Louis tries, breath hitched. “But it still hurts.”

“I know it does.” Niall puts a hand on his shoulder. “And I know no matter what I, or anyone else, says, it won’t make it completely better, but I hope I can at least put a tiny smile on your face.” He pauses, picking Freddie up and putting him back in Louis’ lap.

Louis stares at Niall questionably as he reaches down to grab something. “What are you doing?”

“I know I may not have your mum’s impeccable gift for present-buying, but I hope I can at least make you feel a little bit better with this.” He picks up a big glass.

“Alcohol?” Louis questions. “It’s a little late to be drinking you know… Especially with a baby here…”

“No, it’s not alcohol. I, uh, didn’t have any other cup to put it in,” he admits, blushing slightly. “You remember that tea you tried a few weeks ago when we were out together? You said you really liked it?”

“Oh my gosh, you got me Joy Tea for Christmas?!” Louis suddenly lights up.

“Yeah.”

Louis takes a big appreciative first sip. “Oh my gosh Niall, I love it. Thank you!” The two boys smile at each other. Freddie smiles too, attempting to steal the glass out of Louis’ hand.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Niall grabs him. “That’s for daddy only. You can have some when you’re older.” He winks.

Freddie is confused and keeps trying to crawl back over to Louis and steal the tea, but Niall won’t allow him until Louis is completely finished with the tea.

Niall stays with Louis, talking to him about what both boys did for Christmas, how Freddie reacted to his first presents, and about Johannah. Louis tells Niall about all his favorite Christmas memories with his mother, how she always knew just what to get all of them, and how she would always make the _best_ pumpkin pie.

Eventually, as the night goes on, Louis becomes less sad that she’s gone this year and more thankful for all the Christmas memories they’ve shared over the years. It will never be the same, but Louis knows no matter what she will always be looking down on them and celebrating Christmas with them from Heaven.

When Freddie falls asleep, Louis carefully takes him to his crib and tucks him in. Niall and Louis tip toe down the stairs and go to the kitchen, where a candle Louis lit for his mom a few hours ago still is aglow.

“Dear Jay,” Niall says, bowing his head to the candle. “Thank you for all you have done. Thank you for letting me get to know you and be an honorary part of your family. I pray that you will have a merry Christmas and a happy new year. Amen.”

“Amen,” Louis echoes.

Niall and Louis walk back upstairs together, hand in hand. “Don’t you have to go home Niall?” Louis asks quietly.

Niall shrugs. “I could, but I’d rather spend Christmas cuddling with you instead.” The two of them smile at each other.

“I think I would rather that too.”

The two boys lay down together on Louis’ bed. Niall wraps his arms around Louis loosely so that when Freddie starts crying he can easily get out of bed to tend to his baby.

Before they close their eyes, Louis whispers, “Thank you Niall. I love you.”

Niall smiles and whispers back, “I love you too Louis. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Louis kisses Niall, then blows a kiss to the sky. _And thank you, mum._


End file.
